Thursday, March 27, 2008


As most of you know Jen McFann is my sworn enemy. Her endless comments about my baldness and old age play like a broken record. My glasses are constantly smudged by her grimy thumbs and she constantly mentions that she’s a published author and I’m a hack. Her Georgian language skills are very impressive and she insists on mocking mine and how I get by with my pigeon Georgian and ridiculous hand gestures. I loathe you Jen McFann.

Jen’s birthday is approaching and with it she grows closer to becoming old herself. I welcome this development. I look forward to toasting her at her birthday, and I will do so with beer and I will hold it in my left hand, as this is how you toast your enemies in Georgia.

And even though I hope she gets leprosy and ends up living as a reindeer herder in the wastes of Siberia or pulling a rickshaw for pennies in Rangoon, I do have one positive thing to say about her: Her blog is really funny and you should check it out. There’s a link to it (Jen in Georgia) on my blog. I encourage you to read it and then I encourage you to leave nasty comments on it.

Someday, when Jen is appointed Secretary of State, I will go to the press with shameful stories about her. I will ruin her political career if it’s the last thing I do. That punishment is for cooking the worst fried rice I’ve ever tasted and for constantly talking about Star Trek, X-Files and the Hanson brothers. Always going on about the stupid Hanson brothers. But before I ruin her I suggest you read her blog and laugh at the humor in it just as I do.

Go to hell Jen.


Blogger Fredrick Branchflower said...

Where is the link to Jen's website? I'm not sure who is stupid! Cheers, Uncle Fredrick

10:03 AM  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Thanks Ryan. Your time is coming soon... and I don't just mean your death because you're old. I meant that you'll get similar treatment on my blog in the near future. The very near future.

8:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As indicated by your friend, you "forgot" to put the link to Jen's blog on your site...

Coincidence, or FATE?!?

Seriously, you make your case against Jennifer but you fail to give people real evidence. She, on the other hand, expertly excoriates you AND includes the link to your blog. Obviously, Jen has nothing to hide and trusts in the wisdom of the world's blog readers to recognize her superiority.

9:34 PM  

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